Wow This Week Really Sucks
 For anyone that knows any Italian - amore è… il suo meglio la sensibilità nel mondo quando potete dare al vostri cuore ed anima a qualcuno e sapere che stanno dando lo stessi voi. Sono tutti che vi preoccupiate circa. Non ho significato mai danneggiarvi. armonia spiacente im.

I wrote that for the girl i love.. **Love Is**

Love is.. Its the best feeling in the world when you can give your heart and soul to someone and know that they are giving the same to you. They are all you care about. I never meant to hurt you. Im sorry Harmony.. I really do Love You.

 That is what it means.. yeah i am an asshole. it sucks. 
 I am a jerk. i always hurt people. I can't seem to do anything right lately. I hope i don't fuck up the rest of my life.. I can believe i am actually in love. i didn't think this happened until you were at least 30+. I hope young love isn't bad.. i mean i really do love her. and i hope im not over doing it. she means the world to me. after 6 months.. i still get butterflies in my stomach after seeing her. or talking to her..    I am an Idiot for Fucking up =[ 

I Don't really get these things, i have never really done it before. but i guess its just different from writing in a notebook..

I'm just sitting here on the floor, supposed to be typing a paper for my video production class.. idk i guess i'm in a meh mood. every time i take a bite of the skittles my jaw cracks.. i think i should go to the doctor's for my jaw, but i really don't wanna go haha..

So i'm just sitting here... listening to "Hurt - Johnny Cash" and i've been in a weird mood lately. i just feel "hurt" but i don't wanna really say on here what happened.. but like the song. if i could start again, a million miles away, i would.. i can't even really find myself to smile. i've just been so hurt and i feel bad cause its partly my fault.

As my legs are falling asleep... and because of my mood.. just when i drive its either the speed limit. or if i jump on the highway i'll just gun it.. and when my friend/girl asks why i do it. all i say is that i wanna see what the camaro has.. but i know.. idk what the hell is wrong with me. im just like weird i guess haha.

Today. i went to walmart with 2 of my friends. one of them i like, the other i don't. i was so bored in there.. i like being there with her. just not with the other haha.
school and everything just sucks right now. god dam i hate this shit.

I haven't even ran my 2 miles in a long ass time cause i've just been so mad.. and that usually makes me run farther..
I have just been skateboarding a lot. bombing the hills.. and idk if this is normal, but im like wicked mad at myself. and every time i go down a hill. i have this thought that i should just jump off and roll, and see what happens cause (i don't feel pain like at all - unless its bad) so thats what i think. and i know hurting myself never did anything for anyone.. but i still think about it. i don't wanna break my ankle again. but i mean getting a gash on my arm or leg would be alright. i don't get turned on by this stuff or anything. its just i need to feel some real pain for once. some pain that isn't in my head because of something i witnessed, or felt. i want to feel actual pain that will hurt me to get my mind off all of the stupid ass shit thats happening.
And there is no way in hell am i putting a knife up to my wrist. im not emo. idk. you make your choice. its just bullshit. i can't put up with the mind games anymore. or the fucking head aches. just like a huge ass gash in my arm would be perfect cause then i can just concentrate all my other pain onto something else. then maybe i can forget about it easier!!
Fuck My LIFE! Fuck School - Fuck Women (ok ;D haha) *you know what i mean, mind games and shit.*
i just want a normal life.

Dislocated Jaw..
 Last night i was wrestling with this girl that i like a lot.. and when i say a lot i really mean a lot. shes says that she loves me and i say that i love her.. shes my everyday.. 
So we were wrestling and she accidentally kneed me in my jaw and my jaw dislocated.. wonderful right? so i popped it back into place in the mens room at my school. 

Sometimes i wonder if everything is worth it.. i love my friends and school is going alright.. my parents think that i'm going to fail out of school.. it just sucks.. i'm still thinking of joining the Coast Guard... =/


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